 
Being a professional skier is the most fun, sickest, most perverse way to make a living on the planet! There are even moments of DEEP SPIRITUAL AWAKENING that go with the job! And yet we can't help but notice an unusually high level of hedonism and narcissism here. Shall I explain?
MOST FUN: I judge a trip not based entirely on the snow and location, but
rather on what I refer to as "The Giggle Factor". My friends and I travel and
ski (or other sports) all over the world between 6-8 months every year. I've
been to Europe 10 times (16 months total), Asia 6 times (12 months), Africa
twice (3 months), South America once (two months), Alaska 9 times (7 months),
no to mention hundreds of sports related trips all over the United States and
Canada. Basically, my life is a constant vacation.
As for the giggle factor; I get to have so much fun AND strangely, get paid
for it, so of course by brain is spinning in irony. If someone comes along
and cracks even the WORST of jokes, I tend to vent my excitement by falling
on the floor in hysterical laughter.
My favorite trips so far have been two weeks living in the Selkirk hut and ski
mountaineering in May with Trevor Peterson (I miss him!), Kurt Jensen, Evan
Feen, and Mark Gallup while filming for RAP. One month on the road with
Powder magazine and a huge group of pros in Europe, and two weeks in late May
camping and ski mountaineering sick lines in the Wrangells of Alaska with Dean
Cummings and photographer Tom Evans. These were not my most exotic trips, but
rather the ones where I spat out the most milk.
Kristen enjoying the classic
hometown, Utah pow, pow |
HEDONISM: All this may seem like pure hedonism. But actually the facts are I
work my ass off. Having no agent I organize my own trips, sponsors, projects
etc., which is more time-consuming and a pain-in-the-ass than most believe. I
also write, which takes a lot of time, concentration and commitment. On top
of all that, I'm a landlord with 6 rental units to manage.
My dream is to have some ripping skiers call up and offer me an all-expenses
paid trip to heli ski in Alaska with them; without photographers,
cinematographers, or an article due afterwards. THAT would be hedonism in
it's pure, uncut form.
NARCISSISM: Enough about melet's talk about me. Being a pro athlete is
weird, because you have to be able to spray about yourself on cue, but yet
it's not cool to be egotistical. I look at this thing I'm writing here and am
horrified by all the sentences that begin with "I". I guess (ah) that's part
of the deal though
I hereby resolve for the rest of this narcissism paragraph to start every
sentence with the word "I".
I want to tell you what my gig is. I not only love skiing, but I'm also
addicted to paragliding, road and mountain biking, jazz, modern and African
dance, snowboarding, rock and ice climbing, mountaineering, rollerblading,
soccer, and traveling around the world getting into trouble. I actually think
my favorite sport right now is not skiing, but rather rock climbing. I know I
have the reputation for being "uninhibited" because I have an eccentric
personality and I am addicted to excitement. I tend to look for weird
experiences. I have, for example, done a solo mountain bike tour across
India, snuck illegally into Tibet and tried to climb and ski the sixth highest
mountain in the world, have made many first descents in Alaska on my
paraglider, have run with the bulls in Pamplona, solo mountain biked in
African game parks, and once I almost lost my leg to gangrene while trekking
in Nepal (over 150 leech bites). I have a million stories to tell, but can't
continue this paragraph or my head will explode.
You can see the problem.
Not afraid to fly
Photo by Chaco Moeller |
In an effort to satisfactory continue my narcissistic spray, the next
paragraph will be an attempt to completely avoid the word "I", This is a list
of things that make me proud: 1. Having been on The United States Freestyle
Ski team as a Mogul specialist (although my head wasn't in it). 2. breaking
into being a successful writer, which is no easy feat, so quickly and
successfully. 3. Having, after 18 years in college (started at age 13),
graduated with a degree in, of all things, International Politics. (Only done
for cocktail party conversation benefit) and 4. Just being a professional
athlete. It's the coolest thing in the whole, wide world.
SICKEST: In any person, where there's narcissism, there hopefully at least
SOME level of accomplishment. That goes for me AND my friends.
I used to be called an "extreme skier", although that term is very outdated.
True extreme skiing is "you-fall-you-die" terrain. I admit this is sometimes
the situation, but certainly not every day. Usually I just go rip with my
friends and have an exciting time doing tricks or skiing fast. With true
extreme skiing, there is no ripping, and there is no speed. It's all very
slow and cautious.
So I'm a non-competitive free skier. (I believe those free-skiing
competitions are a great way for newcomers to make a name for themselves, and
that's chiefly what they have become). But, regardless of my or any of my
peers choice of venue, we are paid to rip hard, and that's what I (at least)
TRY to do. In my own personal skiing (if you allow me another "I" egocentric
spray) I'm proud of my jumping ability, my strong head space in dangerous
situations, and my speed acceptance. And daily I get to watch all of the most
talented skiers on the planet do the things they too are most proud of;
including seeing, live, the sickest, biggest, most mind-boggling stunts and
lines performed that a human being is capable. Hanging with this crowd, my
eyes always bug out like saucers.
(By the way I think the most talented all-around skiers I have ever known are
Shane McConkey and Johnny Mosely.)
MOST PERVERSE- Webster defines "perverse" as "deviating from what is
considered right or acceptable". I added this word to my list because any one
who is original, or a leader, is usually perverse.
I believe everyone has many different sides to their personality, and we
decide throughout our lives which sides we prefer to follow and which we
don't. My world is strange, for the more zany someone is, the more popular
they become. We see this in the "real" world too- Jeffrey Daumer, Weird Al,
Jim Carey.
I've been given a license to run with my fun, crazy side. It's that side of
my personality that people seem to really like too, thank GOD, because
sometimes it completely takes over and it could get REAL embarrassing if
people didn't laugh WITH me.
I may have a lot of fun, but I also would like to someday have children.
Someday I would like to break free of my addiction to excitement (which is
whole 'nother thing)) and just enjoy dinner parties and maybe a vegetable
garden. Someday I don't want to be Kristen the athlete, but simply Kristen
the good person.
The ski world is a great time, but it's very mono-dimensional. My least
favorite conversation topic is skiingthe latest ski gear, the last run,
how-was-your-winter questions, blah, blah. I have no ski pictures on my walls
at home. I love living in a big city where I'm not recognized often and I
don't have to see grocery stores full of gore-tex clad shoppers. This is
probably because I want to have more moments of:
SPIRITUALITY-When I was traveling a lot in the Third World (it'll take a long
time before I call them "developing" countries) and spending large amounts of
time alone, I was really in touch with who I am and what I want. It's hard to
keep track of such clarity. I've been a professional skier for a long time,
and I have a blast, and I'll continue to ski for a living for awhile longer.
But at some point I want to move onto the next phase and see where that takes
me. It will be scary leaving "the good life", the dream, and I hope to be
happy. Pro skiing is a really tough act to follow, but I'll figure it out
So there. Now follows a list of questions Keoki, our Internet egghead and
friend, wanted me to answer.:
WHAT ARE MY GOALS? My goal used to be just recovering from a series of 6 knee
surgeries (there were only 2 actual injuries) over 5 years, and I was
obsessed. It's hard being a professional athlete or even a happy person when
you're in pain.
Now my goal is to be happy, to feel like I'm helping create a positive world,
and to show people how to have fun and laugh at the world. I also have a goal
to be the best athlete (skiing, climbing, paragliding, mountain biking
especially) I can be.
WHY DO I DO WHAT I DO? If some lost Uncle left me a fortune, I'd probably
still live the same life, but with less photo shoots and appearances. I ski
professionally only to make a living, but I choose this particular "way to
make a living" because the people are great, the laughs hard, and the feelings
rewarding.
SIZE- Women's 6-7, for those wanting to send the latest Manhattan designer
clothes.
WEIGHT- A muscular 138lbs., and I'm 5 feet 7 inches.
AGE- 31 until Next September.
BIRTHPLACE- Cow Hampshire.
CURRENT RESIDENCE: Salt Lake, ski at Snowbird and Alta early season, Europe in
winter, Alaska every spring. South sometimes in the summer (although I prefer
to do summer sports- namely rock climbing and paragliding).
MARITAL- Ha! Don't even have a boyfriend. My last serious relationship was
not good and I'm enjoying the freedom, for now at least.
SPONSORS: The main ones? Serac clothing, Nikon Sunglasses, Salomon, Leki
poles, Mental hats, Superfeet orthotics, Gordini Gloves.
BEST RUN IN THE WORLD: Anything in Alaska.
MOST EXOTIC PLACE SKIED: Tibet or Kazahkstan.
IDOLS: Madonna, Camille Paiglia (misspelled), Cynthia Hymel (Misspelled), any
woman who just kicks ass but doesn't promote her gender. (i.e. Feminists
should be shot).
MOST HORRENDOUS SKI CONDITIONS EVER: Skiing The Grand Teton last June. It was
very dangerous (understatement).
MY DEFINITION OF A PERFECT SKI DAY: Climbing a steep, scary mountain (first
ascent/descent) with some really good friends, eating a slice of pizza at the
top, and all of us ripping our lines without incident. Then naming it after
my mother, father or brother, Tom, John or Vivienne, whom I love.
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